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Gentlemen.
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00:00:02,604 --> 00:00:04,971
Wildeness weekend is upon us.
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There will be no video games.
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There will be
no Internet pads.
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This weekend
you have two parents:
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Me and Mother Nature.
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And I...
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am Mother Nature's brother:
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Brother nature.
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But you can call me Andy.
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Or brother nature.
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Your call.
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- Thank you, Andy.
- Brother nature.
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For the last three years
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I have served as troop leader
of the Pawnee Rangers.
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This is our handbook.
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I wrote the whole thing myself.
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Okay, it's time
to give out the badges.
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Um, let's see.
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Emily, you get the badge
for most community service.
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To Casey,
the best penguin blog badge.
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To Abigail,
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flyest hairstyle.
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And Ann gets the badge
for second-flyest hairstyle.
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Oh!
I wasn't competing for that.
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I'll say.
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Five years ago,
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a plucky fifth-grader wanted
to join the Pawnee Rangers,
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but their executive council said
what obnoxious jerks always say.
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"No. This is males-only.
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Go start your own club."
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She couldn't.
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So I did.
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We're called
the Pawnee Goddesses,
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and we're freakin' awesome.
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Hey, Ron, whose club
do you think is better,
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00:01:16,099 --> 00:01:17,398
yours or mine?
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The answer is mine.
Say mine is better.
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It's not a competition.
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Oh, but it is.
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Your club made it a competition
when they kept girls out.
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Oh, my stars.
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I'm just a little lady.
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My fragile constitution cannot
handle the fearsome outdoors.
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I have no problem
with strong women, Leslie.
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Who's Leslie?
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My name is Annabelle Vandergraf,
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and, y'all,
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I just fall to pieces
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when the sun shines
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on my hair--ed.
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However, the Pawnee Rangers
were founded because some boys
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want to go out into nature
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and learn
traditional survival skills
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without being distracted
by girls.
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Well, my awesome goddesses
don't want to be distracted by losers.
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Say my club is better, Ron.
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Say it.
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My club is better.
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Say it.
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Come on. Say it's better.
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Say it.
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Say it's better.
Say my club is better.
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Say it. Give it up.
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Whose club is better? Mine.
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Say it. You know it.
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Say it.
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On principal,
I never say anything
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that another person is obviously
trying to get me to say.
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My first wedding ceremony
took two hours,
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because after the priest said
"Repeat after me"
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I fell silent.
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♪ ♪
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Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
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I've been auditing
the budget, and I noticed
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00:02:46,488 --> 00:02:48,490
you're way behind
on your paperwork.
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00:02:48,524 --> 00:02:51,893
Uh, Jerry, you haven't
filled out a PC-10 form
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00:02:51,928 --> 00:02:53,661
in two and a half years.
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00:02:53,679 --> 00:02:55,297
Aw, jeez, I'm sorry.
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Yeah, we kinda do
our paperwork at our own speed.
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Oh, really?
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Well, I kinda need you
to do it at my speed.
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Fine, I'll do them.
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What is wrong
with you today?
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Did they cancel
Game of Thrones?
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Nothing is wrong,
just do your job.
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00:03:10,446 --> 00:03:13,615
And they would
never cancel Game of Thrones.
88
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It's a crossover hit.
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It's not just
for fantasy enthusiasts.
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They're telling human stories
in a fantasy world.
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Fill out the forms, please.
Thank you.
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I used to have
one really good reason
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for staying in Pawnee.
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But now, I'm not sure
what's keeping me here.
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Although,
I am just two sandwiches away
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00:03:34,136 --> 00:03:36,588
from a free meatball sub.
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This is expired.
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Rangers, as a reward
for coming on this trip,
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I have gotten you each
two gifts.
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Go ahead. Open 'em.
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What is this?
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That is a canvas sheet,
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the most versatile object
known to man.
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It can be used
to make tents, backpacks,
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00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:05,100
shoes, stretchers,
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sails, tarpaulins,
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and I suppose, in the most
dire of circumstances,
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it can be a surface
on which to make
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"art."
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What's the second gift?
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00:04:14,510 --> 00:04:17,345
The second gift
is the box itself.
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You have 10 minutes
to assemble a shelter
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00:04:20,249 --> 00:04:22,984
using only your two gifts.
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Go.
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Ladies!
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The goddess cabin
has never looked better.
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This year's
cabin refurbishment badge
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is going to be hotly contested.
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Okay,
so what did everybody make
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for their
loosely structured craft time?
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Lauren?
122
00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:38,833
I made a "Gertrude Stein."
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Amazing.
Lauren, that's so good!
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00:04:43,705 --> 00:04:45,840
I really wouldn't
want to follow that.
125
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Ann?
126
00:04:47,409 --> 00:04:48,710
Oh, boy. Um...
127
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I was making
some cornhusk dolls for everyone
128
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but they kinda turned out wrong
129
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so they look like monsters.
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I'm sorry.
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00:04:59,455 --> 00:05:02,590
I'm just gonna
put that over there.
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In the fire.
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00:05:04,727 --> 00:05:05,927
Well, Ann's keeping us warm.
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00:05:05,961 --> 00:05:07,696
And that's important.
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April?
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♪ What was your craft? ♪.
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I drew something
on my arm.
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It's a pioneer girl
watching her grandmother
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get trampled by a buffalo.
140
00:05:19,492 --> 00:05:21,159
Yeah.
This right here's all the blood
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coming out her face.
142
00:05:24,146 --> 00:05:25,547
DJ Bluntz
is in the building,
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00:05:25,581 --> 00:05:27,499
here to announce
that Tom Haverford
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is in the building.
145
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Oh! 1-2, 1-2!
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Donatella.
T-mobile.
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Three words for you:
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Treat. Yo. Self.
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♪ Treat yourself 2011. ♪
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00:05:39,795 --> 00:05:41,096
Once a year,
Donna and I
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spend a day treating ourselves.
152
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What do we treat ourselves to?
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- Clothes.
- Treat yourself.
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- Fragrances.
- Treat yourself.
155
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- Massages.
- Treat yourself.
156
00:05:48,354 --> 00:05:49,771
- Mimosas.
- Treat yourself.
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00:05:49,805 --> 00:05:52,140
- Fine leather goods.
- Treat yourself!
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It's the best day
of the year.
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♪ The best day of the year ♪.
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I got a question.
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Mm-hmm?
162
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What do you think
about inviting Ben
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to come along with us today?
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What? Noo!
165
00:06:02,868 --> 00:06:04,152
This is our thing.
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00:06:04,186 --> 00:06:05,837
But he really seems
like he could use a day off.
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He's like
a skinny little rubber band
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00:06:07,489 --> 00:06:09,207
that's about to snap in half.
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Exactly.
He doesn't know how to relax.
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Donna, you and I
are relaxation professionals.
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There's no way Ben
can slow down enough
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to keep up with us.
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My Nubian princess,
this is our holy day.
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It's the one day a year
I allow myself to be selfish.
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Ooh, cupcakes.
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Those are all for me, Jerry.
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This homemade bulgogi
is so delicious, Kayla.
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This is the best Korean food
I've ever had.
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I would say
it's almost as good as
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lukewarm beans from a can.
181
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Right, Ron?
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I'm trying to teach my boys
about rationing food,
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and your self-indulgent
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00:06:39,538 --> 00:06:41,823
ethnic food court isn't helping.
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Goddesses, let's go over
our schedule for this afternoon.
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We have hiking,
and then capture the flag,
187
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and then a puppet show
about the Bill of Rights
188
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set to "Party in the USA"
by Miley Cyrus,
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00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:53,835
and then we have lasso training,
190
00:06:53,869 --> 00:06:55,753
and a s'mores-off.
191
00:06:58,807 --> 00:07:00,508
So what's on our schedule,
Mr. Swanson?
192
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:03,344
We have one activity planned:
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Not getting killed.
194
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Jerry.
195
00:07:10,319 --> 00:07:12,237
Oh, everybody must be
at Rangers weekend.
196
00:07:12,271 --> 00:07:14,055
You know, I actually
was a ranger for 12 years--
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That's wonderful.
198
00:07:15,074 --> 00:07:16,241
Maybe you should
take the day off.
199
00:07:16,275 --> 00:07:18,159
You know,
rest is very important.
200
00:07:18,194 --> 00:07:21,579
Did you know that lab rats
who are deprived of rest
201
00:07:21,630 --> 00:07:23,381
grow tumors
all over their bodies?
202
00:07:23,415 --> 00:07:24,749
You should Google it.
It's horrifying.
203
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,084
Uh, thank you. Yes.
204
00:07:26,135 --> 00:07:27,469
You know, I'm gonna--
205
00:07:27,503 --> 00:07:29,003
I'm gonna go have lunch
with my daughter!
206
00:07:29,037 --> 00:07:29,938
You know, Chris,
if you wanted,
207
00:07:29,972 --> 00:07:31,840
you know,
you should join us for lunch.
208
00:07:31,874 --> 00:07:33,308
My daughter,
she's really sweet.
209
00:07:33,342 --> 00:07:35,509
I would love to, Jerry,
but I'm afraid that I am busy.
210
00:07:35,543 --> 00:07:36,377
I have got to run.
211
00:07:36,395 --> 00:07:37,428
Google those rat tumors!
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00:07:39,348 --> 00:07:41,900
♪ Treat yourself 2011 ♪
213
00:07:41,934 --> 00:07:44,051
Oh, lord.
214
00:07:44,069 --> 00:07:45,270
Is he eating soup?
215
00:07:45,321 --> 00:07:47,055
On a bench? Alone?
216
00:07:48,089 --> 00:07:49,491
Tom.
217
00:07:50,326 --> 00:07:51,859
Fine.
218
00:07:52,227 --> 00:07:54,612
Come on, rubber band.
Come with us.
219
00:07:54,663 --> 00:07:55,730
What? What are you--
220
00:07:55,764 --> 00:07:56,948
No arguing.
221
00:07:56,999 --> 00:07:58,065
And no soup in the Benz.
222
00:07:58,483 --> 00:08:00,168
- Get in.
- Wha?
223
00:08:00,202 --> 00:08:01,402
What?
224
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:02,587
What is happening right now?
225
00:08:08,943 --> 00:08:10,211
Great pillow fight, girls.
226
00:08:10,245 --> 00:08:12,079
That was one
of our best ones yet.
227
00:08:12,097 --> 00:08:14,132
Okay.
Now it's time for awards.
228
00:08:14,183 --> 00:08:16,651
Lulu gets the golden pillow.
229
00:08:16,685 --> 00:08:19,437
And the silver pillow
goes to Janie.
230
00:08:20,689 --> 00:08:21,639
Ooh!
231
00:08:22,690 --> 00:08:25,026
Yes, what is it?
232
00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:27,028
Ms. Knope,
233
00:08:27,062 --> 00:08:28,763
I don't like
the Rangers anymore.
234
00:08:28,781 --> 00:08:31,466
I want to become
a Pawnee Goddess.
235
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:32,534
I did it!
236
00:08:32,568 --> 00:08:35,036
My club is officially
the best club.
237
00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:37,104
I would give myself
a merit badge that says
238
00:08:37,139 --> 00:08:38,873
"Best Club Founder,"
but I don't have one,
239
00:08:38,907 --> 00:08:40,207
so I'm going to give myself
240
00:08:40,242 --> 00:08:42,911
"Prettiest eyes"
as a placeholder.
241
00:08:42,945 --> 00:08:44,462
I secretly always
wanted this badge,
242
00:08:44,496 --> 00:08:46,464
so it works out great.
243
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:50,964
You were defecting?
244
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:53,253
I like you, Mr. Swanson,
it's just...
245
00:08:53,288 --> 00:08:55,272
All we do is sit in silence
and eat beans.
246
00:08:55,323 --> 00:08:58,192
Those beans were a reward.
247
00:08:58,226 --> 00:08:59,193
Well, see, the thing is
248
00:08:59,227 --> 00:09:00,527
this club is for girls only.
249
00:09:00,561 --> 00:09:02,863
Maybe you should start
your own club, for boys.
250
00:09:02,897 --> 00:09:03,931
Get back to your canvas box.
251
00:09:03,965 --> 00:09:06,083
We'll discuss this no further.
252
00:09:06,117 --> 00:09:08,035
And I'll thank you
to keep the ruckus down
253
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,570
so my boys can
focus on solitude.
254
00:09:10,588 --> 00:09:12,406
- I'm sorry, Darren.
- Let's go.
255
00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:17,261
So, treat yourself day
is just a day
256
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:20,464
where you go to the spa
and then the mall?
257
00:09:21,683 --> 00:09:22,983
I knew you wouldn't get it.
258
00:09:23,018 --> 00:09:25,386
Well, I'm a relaxation novice.
259
00:09:25,420 --> 00:09:26,387
Give me some guidance.
260
00:09:26,421 --> 00:09:28,188
Listen to me, Ben-to box,
261
00:09:28,223 --> 00:09:30,224
the point of this
is to pamper yourself.
262
00:09:30,258 --> 00:09:32,493
Just relaaax, man.
263
00:09:32,527 --> 00:09:33,527
I can't.
264
00:09:33,561 --> 00:09:35,262
Something about
the sound of harps
265
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,898
that makes me nervous.
266
00:09:37,932 --> 00:09:39,233
Oh, my God!
267
00:09:39,267 --> 00:09:40,651
- Hi, Donna.
- Hey.
268
00:09:40,702 --> 00:09:42,636
Relaxation lesson number one:
269
00:09:42,671 --> 00:09:44,304
Acupuncture.
270
00:09:44,339 --> 00:09:46,640
It's great for your back,
and your rear.
271
00:09:46,675 --> 00:09:49,476
Needles in your face,
pleasure in your base.
272
00:09:52,881 --> 00:09:54,648
- I know.
- That's my boss.
273
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:56,316
Hey, Chris.
274
00:09:56,351 --> 00:09:59,586
Uh, I would like you
to meet my daughter, Millicent.
275
00:09:59,621 --> 00:10:01,338
Wow.
276
00:10:01,372 --> 00:10:02,489
Jerry, great job.
277
00:10:02,523 --> 00:10:03,857
I'm your dad's boss.
278
00:10:03,892 --> 00:10:05,792
And his much-younger friend.
279
00:10:05,827 --> 00:10:07,227
Pleasure to meet you.
280
00:10:07,262 --> 00:10:08,378
Isn't she beautiful?
281
00:10:08,429 --> 00:10:11,164
I say she looks
like my wife, Gayle,
282
00:10:11,182 --> 00:10:13,267
and Gayle agrees.
283
00:10:13,301 --> 00:10:15,435
So, anyway,
we were gonna go to lunch, so--
284
00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:18,338
I retroactively accept
your original offer.
285
00:10:18,873 --> 00:10:19,556
Let's go!
286
00:10:19,557 --> 00:10:20,857
Ladies, I just wanted
287
00:10:20,892 --> 00:10:23,644
to thank you for not cheering
when I sent Darren away.
288
00:10:23,678 --> 00:10:25,979
Ms. Knope,
wasn't Darren just asking
289
00:10:26,014 --> 00:10:27,547
for the same equality
that you and the goddesses
290
00:10:27,582 --> 00:10:30,584
wanted five years ago?
291
00:10:30,618 --> 00:10:31,818
In a sense,
292
00:10:31,852 --> 00:10:33,453
but it's a little bit
more complicated than--
293
00:10:33,488 --> 00:10:34,988
Wasn't your answer
the very same thing
294
00:10:35,023 --> 00:10:37,291
that the ranger council
said to you?
295
00:10:37,325 --> 00:10:38,292
"Stick to your own kind"?
296
00:10:38,326 --> 00:10:40,711
Who wants
homemade peanut brittle?
297
00:10:40,745 --> 00:10:43,597
Ms. Perkins, please,
we're in the middle of a debate.
298
00:10:43,631 --> 00:10:45,198
Sorry.
299
00:10:45,216 --> 00:10:46,333
Come on, goddesses.
300
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:48,368
We just struck
a huge blow for equality
301
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:50,037
by proving that
we were better than them.
302
00:10:50,071 --> 00:10:51,071
I disagree.
303
00:10:51,105 --> 00:10:52,639
What about a public forum?
304
00:10:52,674 --> 00:10:54,474
You always say that
there's no better solution
305
00:10:54,509 --> 00:10:55,759
for a hot-button issue
306
00:10:55,810 --> 00:10:58,228
than a good ol'-fashioned
public forum.
307
00:10:58,262 --> 00:10:59,229
Great idea, Lauren.
308
00:10:59,263 --> 00:11:00,547
What was that?
309
00:11:00,565 --> 00:11:03,183
I said,
"great idea, Lauren."
310
00:11:03,217 --> 00:11:04,601
I've taught them too well.
311
00:11:04,652 --> 00:11:07,821
I've created a mob of
little Leslie Knope monsters.
312
00:11:07,855 --> 00:11:09,089
I'm so proud.
313
00:11:09,123 --> 00:11:10,157
And a little annoyed.
314
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:11,908
But mostly proud.
315
00:11:11,943 --> 00:11:13,243
70/30.
316
00:11:13,277 --> 00:11:15,245
Just relax and don't move.
317
00:11:15,279 --> 00:11:17,264
Okay. Ah...
318
00:11:17,298 --> 00:11:19,433
This is the most
319
00:11:19,467 --> 00:11:22,369
stressed-out I've ever been
320
00:11:22,403 --> 00:11:23,470
in my life.
321
00:11:23,504 --> 00:11:24,955
Ben, listen.
322
00:11:25,006 --> 00:11:26,807
I'm gonna talk to you
about things you like
323
00:11:26,841 --> 00:11:28,008
to take your mind
off the needles, okay?
324
00:11:29,043 --> 00:11:31,578
Accounting.
325
00:11:31,596 --> 00:11:32,779
Trigonometry.
326
00:11:32,814 --> 00:11:33,914
Stamps, probably.
327
00:11:33,948 --> 00:11:35,148
More of a rare coins guy.
328
00:11:35,183 --> 00:11:36,616
Help me. Help me!
329
00:11:36,651 --> 00:11:40,320
There is nothing that I like
more than running for charity.
330
00:11:40,355 --> 00:11:42,639
You know, last summer
I did a 50-mile bike ride
331
00:11:42,690 --> 00:11:44,591
- for the red cross.
- Yes, she did.
332
00:11:44,609 --> 00:11:45,925
Millicent Gergich,
333
00:11:45,943 --> 00:11:48,061
biking for charity is literally
334
00:11:48,095 --> 00:11:49,646
one of my interests on Facebook.
335
00:11:50,732 --> 00:11:52,783
I can't believe
how alike we are.
336
00:11:52,817 --> 00:11:55,235
I know, it's like
we're literally the same person.
337
00:11:58,156 --> 00:12:01,241
We are having a moment.
338
00:12:02,443 --> 00:12:03,710
Attention, everyone.
339
00:12:03,745 --> 00:12:05,812
Welcome to wonder weekend's
340
00:12:05,847 --> 00:12:08,331
first-ever public forum.
341
00:12:08,383 --> 00:12:10,000
Our topic today?
342
00:12:10,051 --> 00:12:11,418
Should the amazing goddesses
343
00:12:11,452 --> 00:12:14,688
take pity on the once-powerful
Pawnee Rangers,
344
00:12:14,722 --> 00:12:18,392
and let them into our
clearly superior organization?
345
00:12:18,426 --> 00:12:20,427
Ron, your opening statement.
346
00:12:22,997 --> 00:12:24,514
This forum,
like all public forums,
347
00:12:24,565 --> 00:12:25,599
is a waste of time.
348
00:12:25,633 --> 00:12:27,034
Thank you.
349
00:12:27,068 --> 00:12:28,235
Powerful stuff.
350
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,854
Okay. Let's open up
the floor to debate.
351
00:12:30,905 --> 00:12:32,322
Who-- yes, Abigail.
352
00:12:32,356 --> 00:12:35,475
Isn't it like Brown vs.
The Board of Education?
353
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,577
Separate but equal
is never really equal.
354
00:12:37,612 --> 00:12:38,712
We should let the boys in.
355
00:12:38,746 --> 00:12:40,363
Mmm, interesting. Casey?
356
00:12:40,415 --> 00:12:41,665
I disagree.
357
00:12:41,699 --> 00:12:44,251
I think there's a benefit
to educating the genders separately.
358
00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:46,253
I see where
you're coming from.
359
00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:47,821
Let's hear from a ranger.
360
00:12:47,839 --> 00:12:49,923
Anyone? Darren?
361
00:12:49,957 --> 00:12:52,392
It's cold
and dirty out here.
362
00:12:52,427 --> 00:12:54,561
And you guys have candy.
363
00:12:54,595 --> 00:12:56,046
I want the candy.
364
00:12:56,597 --> 00:12:58,899
The goddesses are making
some well-informed statements,
365
00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:00,434
but the most compelling point
366
00:13:00,468 --> 00:13:02,469
is from Darren, about the candy.
367
00:13:02,503 --> 00:13:05,172
We have amazing candy in there.
368
00:13:05,706 --> 00:13:07,207
Welcome to Nirvana,
369
00:13:07,241 --> 00:13:08,975
the Plaza at Eagleton.
370
00:13:09,009 --> 00:13:10,544
There's a reflecting pool
out back,
371
00:13:10,578 --> 00:13:12,779
there's an old-timey train
that runs through the mall,
372
00:13:12,814 --> 00:13:15,048
and three Burberrys.
373
00:13:15,083 --> 00:13:16,817
If you tell your friend,
"hey, meet me at Burberry,"
374
00:13:16,851 --> 00:13:19,453
they gotta specify which one.
375
00:13:19,487 --> 00:13:20,821
Let's hit it.
376
00:13:22,206 --> 00:13:23,189
I really want this dress,
377
00:13:23,207 --> 00:13:25,025
and I like this crystal beetle,
378
00:13:25,059 --> 00:13:28,545
but it's expensive
and there's no use for it.
379
00:13:28,579 --> 00:13:30,030
Donna Meagle?
380
00:13:30,064 --> 00:13:31,898
Treat yourself.
381
00:13:31,933 --> 00:13:34,134
Velvet slippies,
cashmere socks,
382
00:13:34,168 --> 00:13:36,219
velvet pants,
cashmere turtle.
383
00:13:36,254 --> 00:13:38,004
I'm a cashmere-velvet
candy cane.
384
00:13:38,039 --> 00:13:40,540
Treat yourself.
385
00:13:40,575 --> 00:13:42,109
I mean, this is insane.
386
00:13:43,394 --> 00:13:44,978
Jerry, a word?
387
00:13:45,012 --> 00:13:46,079
Of course.
388
00:13:46,114 --> 00:13:48,315
I had an amazing lunch.
389
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:50,600
I've already passed
the kale salad I had.
390
00:13:50,651 --> 00:13:51,651
But, even better?
391
00:13:51,686 --> 00:13:53,570
Your daughter
was delightful company.
392
00:13:53,604 --> 00:13:55,272
Now, I don't want to put you
393
00:13:55,323 --> 00:13:56,907
in an awkward position, but--
394
00:13:56,941 --> 00:13:58,692
You would like
to date my daughter.
395
00:13:58,726 --> 00:13:59,893
Yes!
But you are her father.
396
00:13:59,911 --> 00:14:01,661
And that is a sacred thing.
397
00:14:01,696 --> 00:14:03,864
I would like to spend
the next 2 to 4 days with you
398
00:14:03,898 --> 00:14:05,231
so you can get
to know me better,
399
00:14:05,249 --> 00:14:06,700
to find out if I'm
the kind of person
400
00:14:06,734 --> 00:14:08,418
who's good enough
for your daughter.
401
00:14:08,452 --> 00:14:09,836
Then, you can come with us
402
00:14:09,871 --> 00:14:11,204
on our first 3 to 6 dates--
403
00:14:11,238 --> 00:14:12,205
Chris,
I appreciate the gesture,
404
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,740
it's very nice,
405
00:14:13,758 --> 00:14:15,342
but, Milly,
she's a grown woman,
406
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:16,877
and of course I trust her.
407
00:14:16,911 --> 00:14:18,678
And I trust you.
408
00:14:18,713 --> 00:14:19,980
Jerry.
409
00:14:20,014 --> 00:14:21,014
Thank you.
410
00:14:26,187 --> 00:14:27,354
Mmm.
411
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:28,922
Boys, I'm trying
to teach you something
412
00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:32,425
about nature and self-reliance.
413
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:35,028
Nothing beats hard work
and determination.
414
00:14:35,062 --> 00:14:36,530
Is this
the Pawnee goddesses?
415
00:14:36,564 --> 00:14:37,531
I've got
the puppies you ordered.
416
00:14:37,565 --> 00:14:38,532
Oh!
417
00:14:38,566 --> 00:14:40,200
The puppies
for the puppy party
418
00:14:40,234 --> 00:14:41,401
that we're having
in our cabin?
419
00:14:41,435 --> 00:14:42,402
Those puppies?
420
00:14:42,436 --> 00:14:43,403
What?
421
00:14:43,437 --> 00:14:44,671
Noo!
422
00:14:49,626 --> 00:14:52,045
Man, did you buy anything
for yourself today?
423
00:14:52,079 --> 00:14:53,296
Yeah, I got this
pack of socks.
424
00:14:53,331 --> 00:14:54,297
Plain white socks?
425
00:14:54,332 --> 00:14:55,498
That's not a treat!
426
00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:56,499
Donna!
427
00:14:56,551 --> 00:14:57,918
Get me away from him.
428
00:14:57,952 --> 00:15:00,053
Look. Maybe this is our
version of treat yourself day
429
00:15:00,087 --> 00:15:01,555
and he needs to do his version.
430
00:15:01,589 --> 00:15:02,806
What are you talking about?
431
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,225
Wyatt, if you could blow
big money on one thing--
432
00:15:05,259 --> 00:15:06,726
not sock money--
433
00:15:06,761 --> 00:15:09,496
what would it be?
434
00:15:13,801 --> 00:15:15,302
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
435
00:15:15,336 --> 00:15:16,770
This is a whole new
level of nerd.
436
00:15:16,804 --> 00:15:18,605
You're right.
This is ridiculous.
437
00:15:18,639 --> 00:15:19,606
What am I doing?
438
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:20,607
Wait. No, no, no, no.
439
00:15:20,641 --> 00:15:22,192
I mean that
in a good way, Ben.
440
00:15:22,243 --> 00:15:23,526
Listen to me,
441
00:15:23,578 --> 00:15:25,612
you're part of the
treat yourself team now, okay?
442
00:15:25,646 --> 00:15:27,514
If that costume
somehow makes you happy,
443
00:15:27,548 --> 00:15:29,416
you're gonna buy it.
444
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:31,534
And you're gonna wear it
out of the store, okay?
445
00:15:31,586 --> 00:15:32,535
You're gonna treat yourself.
446
00:15:32,587 --> 00:15:33,553
Yeah, you know what?
447
00:15:33,588 --> 00:15:34,621
I'm gonna do that.
448
00:15:34,655 --> 00:15:36,155
I'm gonna--
449
00:15:36,173 --> 00:15:37,857
I'm gonna treat myself.
450
00:15:37,892 --> 00:15:39,893
Thanks, you guys.
451
00:15:41,529 --> 00:15:44,631
Thank you.
452
00:15:44,665 --> 00:15:46,499
I really needed this.
453
00:15:48,102 --> 00:15:52,038
I'm gonna treat myself.
454
00:15:52,073 --> 00:15:54,808
Uh-oh. Batman's crying.
455
00:15:54,842 --> 00:15:57,043
I am a goddess.
456
00:15:57,078 --> 00:15:59,696
A glorious female warrior.
457
00:15:59,730 --> 00:16:01,448
I am a goddess.
458
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:04,017
A glorious female warrior.
459
00:16:04,051 --> 00:16:06,236
Queen of all that I survey.
460
00:16:06,287 --> 00:16:09,456
Queen of all that I survey.
461
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,691
Enemies of fairness
and equality,
462
00:16:11,726 --> 00:16:13,576
hear my womanly roar.
463
00:16:13,628 --> 00:16:16,997
Enemies of fairness
and equality,
464
00:16:17,031 --> 00:16:19,699
hear my womanly roar.
465
00:16:25,339 --> 00:16:26,706
Congratulations,
you are now goddesses.
466
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:28,541
Oh, my God!
467
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,544
Now, have yourselves
468
00:16:31,562 --> 00:16:32,545
a puppy party.
469
00:16:41,221 --> 00:16:42,956
Oh, boy.
470
00:16:46,821 --> 00:16:47,856
Hey.
471
00:16:47,916 --> 00:16:49,717
Can I sit down?
472
00:16:51,652 --> 00:16:54,788
Look, I didn't mean
for this to happen.
473
00:16:54,822 --> 00:16:57,791
I have a lot of respect
for the Pawnee Rangers,
474
00:16:57,825 --> 00:17:00,294
even if they were jerks
five years ago.
475
00:17:00,328 --> 00:17:02,229
You're not a jerk.
476
00:17:02,263 --> 00:17:04,998
You're a good troop leader.
477
00:17:05,033 --> 00:17:07,634
Not for these times I'm not.
478
00:17:07,669 --> 00:17:10,237
It's taken me a while
to see this,
479
00:17:10,271 --> 00:17:12,906
but these kids...
480
00:17:12,941 --> 00:17:15,042
I don't understand 'em.
481
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,344
And they certainly
don't understand me.
482
00:17:17,378 --> 00:17:18,912
That's not true.
483
00:17:18,947 --> 00:17:20,614
No, it is.
484
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:21,648
And it's okay.
485
00:17:21,683 --> 00:17:23,617
People change.
486
00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:25,686
Their interests change.
487
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,655
It's the way of the world.
488
00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:31,908
When did kids get
so interested in fun?
489
00:17:33,962 --> 00:17:35,412
Ah...
490
00:17:35,463 --> 00:17:38,715
I'm gonna turn in.
491
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:41,535
You were right, by the way.
492
00:17:41,569 --> 00:17:43,470
Your group is better.
493
00:17:49,811 --> 00:17:51,411
What's wrong?
Out with it.
494
00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:54,948
I was... seeing a woman,
495
00:17:54,983 --> 00:17:57,150
uh, for a while, and then
496
00:17:57,185 --> 00:17:59,353
we stopped seeing each other.
497
00:17:59,387 --> 00:18:01,855
Uh, pretty recently.
498
00:18:01,889 --> 00:18:04,274
That's why you've been
off your game.
499
00:18:04,325 --> 00:18:06,076
Sorry, dog.
500
00:18:06,110 --> 00:18:07,461
You're a catch, Wyatt.
501
00:18:07,495 --> 00:18:09,396
You're gonna be okay.
502
00:18:09,430 --> 00:18:10,931
There's chickenheads
everywhere, Ben.
503
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,332
Chickenheads all around
this mall.
504
00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:14,334
You're gonna find one,
and you're gonna be great.
505
00:18:14,369 --> 00:18:15,335
But, for now,
why don't you let it out?
506
00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:17,371
Treat yourself
to a good cry.
507
00:18:19,090 --> 00:18:20,407
One question, though.
508
00:18:20,441 --> 00:18:22,292
Yeah?
509
00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:25,912
Why so serious?
510
00:18:28,299 --> 00:18:29,266
Wait, I got something.
511
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:30,267
Oh!
512
00:18:30,301 --> 00:18:32,319
Cool! Awesome! Nice!
513
00:18:32,353 --> 00:18:34,054
Thanks, D-money.
514
00:18:34,088 --> 00:18:35,288
What kind of bait
did you use?
515
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,808
I bought this mackerel
at the supermarket.
516
00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:39,092
I've been standing in the water
517
00:18:39,110 --> 00:18:40,093
with the fish on my hook
518
00:18:40,111 --> 00:18:42,029
for 30 minutes.
519
00:18:42,063 --> 00:18:44,064
I saw it on an episode
I Love Lucy.
520
00:18:44,098 --> 00:18:45,399
Pathetic? Maybe.
521
00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:47,300
But, feels pretty good
to have a bunch of little boys
522
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,902
be super into me.
523
00:18:48,936 --> 00:18:49,903
That came out wrong.
524
00:18:49,937 --> 00:18:51,405
Ron!
525
00:18:51,439 --> 00:18:52,989
Come fish with us!
526
00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:54,908
That's okay.
527
00:18:54,942 --> 00:18:56,827
Seems like you have
things under control.
528
00:18:56,878 --> 00:18:57,944
Come on!
529
00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,379
Come do that thing
where you catch one
530
00:18:59,414 --> 00:19:00,547
with your hands!
531
00:19:00,581 --> 00:19:02,516
I've seen him do it,
it's incredible.
532
00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:03,517
Ron, come on!
533
00:19:03,551 --> 00:19:05,752
We need you
to help us have fun!
534
00:19:05,786 --> 00:19:07,454
First annual Leslie Knope
535
00:19:07,488 --> 00:19:09,673
remote control speedboat race!
536
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:13,510
See ya Monday.
537
00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:23,687
Jerry.
538
00:19:23,738 --> 00:19:24,804
Where did you come from?
539
00:19:24,822 --> 00:19:26,807
Listen,
as I said earlier,
540
00:19:26,841 --> 00:19:29,159
I want keep everything
above board in regards
541
00:19:29,193 --> 00:19:30,544
to my relationship
with your daughter.
542
00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:33,747
And, as you know, Millicent
and I went out last night.
543
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,449
And... it went terrific.
544
00:19:35,483 --> 00:19:36,533
Chris, that's great,
545
00:19:36,584 --> 00:19:37,534
but you really don't
have to do this.
546
00:19:37,585 --> 00:19:39,536
Again, the date was amazing,
547
00:19:39,587 --> 00:19:42,172
we had sparkling conversation,
548
00:19:42,206 --> 00:19:43,924
and, full disclosure,
549
00:19:43,958 --> 00:19:45,625
she did spend the night
at my house.
550
00:19:45,659 --> 00:19:47,127
Have a great day, Jerry.
551
00:19:54,168 --> 00:19:55,368
What are you doing here?
552
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,803
We're here for the club.
553
00:19:56,837 --> 00:19:58,054
That was last week.
554
00:19:58,106 --> 00:19:59,606
The ad says today.
555
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:00,640
Ad?
556
00:20:04,512 --> 00:20:06,012
"Are you tough as nails?
557
00:20:06,047 --> 00:20:07,697
" Would you rather sleep
on a bed of pine needles
558
00:20:07,732 --> 00:20:09,082
"than a mattress?
559
00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:10,917
"Do you find
video games pointless
560
00:20:10,952 --> 00:20:13,353
"and shopping malls stupid?
561
00:20:13,387 --> 00:20:15,322
"Do you march to the beat
of your own drummer?
562
00:20:15,356 --> 00:20:18,325
"Did you make the drum yourself?
563
00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:21,411
"If so, you might just have
what it takes to be
564
00:20:21,462 --> 00:20:23,079
"a Swanson.
565
00:20:23,131 --> 00:20:25,882
"Pawnee's most hardcore
outdoor club starts today.
566
00:20:25,917 --> 00:20:28,935
Boys and girls welcome."
567
00:20:31,139 --> 00:20:32,105
Swansons!
568
00:20:32,140 --> 00:20:34,407
Are you prepared
for whatever lies ahead?
569
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:35,442
Yes, sir.
570
00:20:35,476 --> 00:20:36,560
Before we proceed,
571
00:20:36,594 --> 00:20:39,712
do any of have any
dietary restrictions?
572
00:20:39,730 --> 00:20:41,681
Correct, you do not.
573
00:20:41,715 --> 00:20:43,250
First outing is right now.
574
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,484
I will be teaching you
575
00:20:44,519 --> 00:20:47,103
to dig a proper trench.
576
00:20:47,155 --> 00:20:48,955
Does that sound like
something you want to do?
577
00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:51,424
Yes, sir.
578
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,493
This will be
no fun at all.
579
00:20:56,659 --> 00:20:59,893
The Town of Pawnee invites you
to stay tuned for more Parks & Rec.
580
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:02,393
And to try our delicious local corn.
581
00:21:04,626 --> 00:21:06,427
The Internet's not working.
582
00:21:06,461 --> 00:21:07,428
Ben!
583
00:21:07,462 --> 00:21:08,563
We need your help.
584
00:21:08,597 --> 00:21:09,630
Guys, I've told you
how to do it.
585
00:21:09,665 --> 00:21:10,915
You just unplug the router
586
00:21:10,966 --> 00:21:12,583
and then you plug it
back in again.
587
00:21:15,971 --> 00:21:17,255
Guess I'll do it.
588
00:21:22,343 --> 00:21:23,494
Still not working.
589
00:21:23,628 --> 00:21:25,112
Well,
give it a minute. God.
590
00:21:27,916 --> 00:21:29,283
Okay, it's working.
591
00:21:29,593 --> 00:21:39,360
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com